This time we're not giving up

Im going to miss this. Staying up late talking with my best friends, talking on the phone for 2 hours about random, stupid things, and sitting in my room, just having the secure and loving feeling of knowing my mom is downstairs just working away. Im going to miss my family, my friends, my room even.

Its going to be hard, leaving behind all i know, and being thrust into a community in which i know nothing about, and dont even know how to behave.
I'm starting to get excited though, I met with Jean Crowder( The Duncan MP) and she gave me a very inspirational talk, and $100 :P but it really made me think about why i am actually going on this trip. Being scared has kinda madde me forget why i wanted to do this exchange in the first place.

I want to be able to die, knowing i did one thing to change someone's life. I want to be able to say, i helped change the world for the better. I want to know....I did something good to make up for all my bad deeds. I feel like i can redeem myself with this trip, with myself, and with my family.

I know ive done bad things before, like im sure everyone has, but lately i feel like something has been leading me down the wrong path. I figured this trip would be the best thing to get me on the right track again. Ive always been an alright kid, but lately somethings changed. I need to get my head on straight and this is exactly what i need.

Taking time away from everything i know will give me the chance to take a step back from my life, and experience a different life which i want to lead in the future.

When i get back i hope i can bring back all the things i learned while i was away, be able to use my newfound skills and experiences to teach others around about different communities and the ways of people around the world. I hope i can give back to everyone, the way everyone has given me so much already.

I just want to send out a huge thanks before i log off for the night, to my family ( mom, drew, andrea <3 ) My friends( too many to name) and everyone from the community who has supported me through my whole preparation of my trip. I love you all <3

Goodnight and Ill blog again soon :)

My Heart-Paramore

A new adventure is about to begin in my life, and as excited as I act on the outside, on the inside, I'm more terrified then ever. This is going to be an experience of a life-time, and I wont let a case of nerves stop me from doing this, but I wish someone would just say to me " Devann, You can be scared, its okay." I am surrounded by friends and family who are supporting me, but in order for me to take this big step, I have to take off my training wheels, and finally enter the real world.

I can't keep relying on my friends and family to bail me out in a difficult situation, because for the next 6 months, I will truly be alone, without my family and friends. I will make new ones I'm sure, but it wont be the same. It seems that I'm putting off getting packed and ready, because I still don't believe I am leaving in 12 days. It all seems so surreal. Thinking about the next few days I get butterflies in my stomach, and I feel nervous about doing this. All these questions run through my head on a daily basis
"What if I don't like it?"
"Do they have stuff I need there?"
"How do I communicate with people when I dont know spanish?"
"6 months is a really long time..."

But I guess this is an experience not only to be scared, but to realize there are bigger problems in the world, like world hunger, and homelessness, which im sure I will get to have a first-hand glance at.

So if everyone who reads this, just send me little "good luck" wishes every now and then, I would love nothing more:)

Thanks for reading so far everyone <3